Why you should not anger China
by Needmoreanime
Summary: Just some shory stories of why no one, not even Russia, should piss off China. Bad summary, please read! My First Fic
1. Chapter 1 Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong

"I am never ever going to prank China again." Three Asians thought. Japan, Hong Kong and South Korea were only having a little fun. But China doesn't have a good sense of humor **OR** a way to control his temper.

_Flashback_

"Aiyaa, I wish I could go back to the old days again, aru." China said sighing. "Westerners are such a pain, aru. At least it's a nice day aru. It's so calming, so gentle, and there is a nice burning smell, aru. Wait, burning?"

KABOOM! China was smoking, literally.

"Nice going Hong Kong da-ze!" Korea said.

"Hey, I think we should go now. China has a very bad reaction to these pranks." Japan said worringly.

"Don't, like, worry about it, I guess. I've dealt with like a million tortures from China before." Hong Kong said in his monotonous voice.

"I think we should still go. If China finds out that I've recorded it on the camera, he'll beat us to death with his wok." Japan said.

"Who says you're going anywhere, aru."

All three froze and slowly turned around to see a pissed China with his wok and ladle. "I warned you not to ever do a prank like that on me, aru. So for punishment for all three of you, I will personally deal with you with my wok, kung fu skills and much more aru." China hissed.

Hong Kong, Japan and South Korea sweated themselves wet when they saw an extremely dark aura around China, who apparently is hissing like a snake and his eyes were glinting.

"P-p-please wait, Ch-Ch-China-san, it was all South Korea's idea, he wanted to see you shirtless and convinced me and Hong Kong to help him." Japan stuttered.

"No fair, Japan, da-ze! You also wanted to get a picture of Aniki shirtless with your camera and then sell it to Russia da-ze!" South Korea yelled.

"I, like, just got dragged in because the only way to like, get your shirt off is to burn it off with a firework, I guess." Hong Kong replied nonchalantly.

"I don't care what your excuses are aru! Face Your Punishment aru!"

"We're sorry(da-ze)!"

**BAM! **China had wacked them all in the head with his wok then in the face, then the chest and finally their sensitive spot. All three of them let out a wail of pain and passed out from the pain. China did numerous things that are so terribly painful and hideous that I can't explain it. After the punishment, Japan, Hong Kong, and South Korea, finally wake up and find themselves tied to a flag pole with nothing but their underwear on. "What the hell(da-ze)!"

"How's the view up their aru?" the three look down to see China. "If you don't hurry aru, Hungary, and Taiwan are gonna be here with their cameras aru."

"Ehhhhhh! Let us down (da-ze)!"

"Nope aru. Have fun aru. Hey, Meimei, Hungary, they're right over here aru."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (da-ze)!"

_End of flashback_

So this is why you should never ever prank China. His punishments are worse than Russia's.

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><p>This is my first chapter. Please tell me if it is good or bad. But no Flames please.<p>

Thank You!


	2. Chapter 2 England

"England! Come back here, I'm not done with you, aru!"

"Are you nuts? What the bloody hell did you put Japan, Hong Kong and South Korea in?"

"Oh, don't worry I'm only gonna put you in 5 times more pain than they did, aru!"

"That's not punishment, that's hell!"

"Deal with it aru!"

"AHHHHHHH! How the bloody hell do you stop him!"

"Dude, you mean _her_."

BAM! The wall behind America cracked after the wok nearly hit him. All of the countries were sweating their shirts off at the World Conference. Well except for Russia, who happens to be smiling, but Belarus seems to be hissing at China. Let's see what happened before this happened.

_Flashback_

The night before the World Conference, England was drunk.

"One leprechaun hair, two unicorn horns, and one hair of the person you hate. Haha, prepare yourself America. The next day, you will be a _girl_!" England was doing his black arts again, but it wasn't America's hair that he grabbed, it was China's. But England was too drunk to notice. So the next day at the World Conference, England eagerly awaited from America's arrival.

"Wassup dudes, the hero has arrived first!" America burst into the room still as a guy.

"What the bloody hell! Why aren't you a bloody girl you git!" America put a hand on England's shoulder

"England, dude get your eyes checked when you do your failed magic."

"Uhmm.., Mister England?" England turned around to see a very nervous Japan, Hong Kong and South Korea which is very rare.

"What the bloody hell do you want Japan, I'm in a very bad mood right now!"

"Like, that isn't even comparably to China's right now, I guess. _He _will be here within an hour so you might as well get ready." Hong Kong mentioned with a monotonous voice.

"No kidding, da-ze. _He_ nearly destroyed the house when _he _saw _himself_ in the mirror, da-ze. _He's_ ready to do _that _to England right now, da-ze." South Korea piped up.

"O-o-oh, y-y-you don't mean _that_ do you."

"Oh, when I mean _that, _I mean _that, da-ze._" All three Asians simultaneously shivered at the thought of it.

"Vhat, you mean it? Gladly. I can post the pictures on the veb too? Thank you China!" Hungary said into her phone as she walked into the room.

"I better call Taiwan too. Oh England, China will be here in 10 minutes, don't even think about running away, or I vill whack you with my skillet."

"What the bloody hell is going on."

"You don't want to know (da-ze)." BANG! Everyone's head turned to the door. A murderous aura surrounded China.

"England, what the hell did you do to me, aru?" They all saw to see China, but China was girl.

"So I was right that you were a girl, dude. The hero is always right!"

"No you idiot! I'm a guy, but somebody seemed to have turned me into a girl, right England, aru?" China death glared England.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? How should I know who turned you into a girl?"

"Who else in here fails at magic aru?" Right on the nail. England is now sweating buckets.

"I-I-I can explain China, I was"

"Drunk and doing magic on the same time aru? And instead of grabbing America's hair, you grabbed mine and turned me into a girl aru!" Once again right on the mark. England made a beeline towards the door, but Hungary was blocking him with her skillet.

"Don't worry, the punishment isn't as bad as Japan's, Hong Kong's and South Korea's aru."

"Really?"

"Yep, it's only 5 times worse than theirs." China had an extremely dark aura around him… I mean her.

"Stand still and it won't be that painful."

"Bloody hell, you're gonna kill me!" CRASH!

_End of flashback_

England finally got whacked with the wok and got knocked unconscious. Once again, more terrible things happened, so bad that I can't explain it.

"Awww, bloody hell, China sure can give a whacking." England groaned as he sat up

"Ohononon, China certainly has let me do a wonderful thing, _non_?" England saw that France was right over him in a… I don't know what the hell he is wearing.

"Oh bloody hell!" England ran to the door but found it locked tight.

"Have fun with France in there aru."

"China, let me out!"

"I'll let you out in another 24 hours. You use that time to find a way to turn me back into a guy aru."

"I set up the cameras in there China. Are you sure you're gonna let me keep the video?"

"Go ahead aru."

"Ohononon, let us have fun now England."

"AWWWWWWW, BLOODY HHHHEEEELLLLLLLL!"

"China you look very cute, da." Russia said. "England, make that 12 hours! Or you're gonna be locked in with France for another _week _aru!" "NOOOOOOO!"

Never turn China into a girl unless you want to be locked in a room with France for a week.

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><p>This is only my second chapter, so please tell me how it is. No Flames please!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3 Spain

Hi, sorry for the late update, i will try to update every Saturday, but if it is not updated, i am really sorry. Don't kill me with China's wok and make me go through one of his punishment courses please!

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><p>"I'm sorry <em>chica!<em>"

BAM! The wall behind Spain had crumbled after the impact of China's wok.

"How many times do I have to tell them that I am not a girl, aru!"

"You bastard, give back my tomatoes!"

"There she*cough* I mean he goes again."

"Dude, just turn _her_ back into a guy." CRACK! China had thrown a knife at America and had missed his head by a millimeter if he had not turned to grab a hamburger.

"I SAID I AM NOT A GIRL ARU! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AMERICA ARU!"

"Spare me China! Spare me!"

"Opium bastard, why is the antidote still not finished aru!"

"W-w-w-well, you see. I seem to have run out of materials."

"Out of materials my ass aru! You don't finish by the end of the week aru and I will lock you up with France for another _MONTH!_"

"You bloody wanker!" Maybe I should explain this first.

_Flashback _

"Romano, I have some tomatoes with me!"

"You bastard Spain, give me my tomatoes!"

"Let me go get the boxes!"

"Hurry up you bastard. I want my tomatoes."

"Here they ar-Whoops!" Spain had happened to trip on a ball that had randomly rolled there. The boxes of tomatoes went flying over Romano and onto, guess who? China, who was still a girl due to an idiot that failed at magic (England: ACHOO!) Spain noticed a second too late and was soon chased by two people. One being Romano for revenge for his precious tomatoes and the other was the latter being extremely pissed off and angry.

"Spain/You bastard, I'm gonna kill you (aru)!"

"I'm sorry! _Los siento!_ Please forgive me!" WHAM! Romano headbutted Spain unconscious.

"You bastard, my tomatoes, give them back you jerk!" BASH! CLANG! BOOM! Spain was knocked around by China's wok.

"Accident or not, no one just drops a bunch of tomatoes on me aru!" After some more tortures, Spain woke up only to see Romano ready to headbutt him again and China is well… sharpening a knife that could potentially slice him in half. WHAM! The wall behind Spain shakes and a large hole is in the middle. "So close, glad I moved out of the way."

"You jerk, why did you dodge!"

"Enough aru! I'm beyond angry right now aru! Face your punishment aru!"

_End of Flashback_

Spain went through five more hours of Romano's headbutting and China's wok and torture that I can't explain. The next thing he knew, he was in a room with Netherlands.

"Why am I in here with you?" Netherlands asked nonchalantly until he saw something glint in the dark. A light flickers on only to see that the whole room has its walls covered in mass murder weapons. I mean chainsaws, swords, guns, battle axes, white flags…. Wait, skip the white flags. But you get what I mean. Spain is going through a living hell.

"Don't worry aru, I'll let you out in an hour since Netherlands will most likely chop you to death aru."

"Wow, I can't believe you did that you git."

"Shut up, opium bastard aru. And hurry up on that antidote or its back in the room with France aru. And when I mean a month, I mean a month aru."

"Bloody hell."

So when will the idiot who fails at magic (England: Hey! I'm not that bad!) finish the antidote for China? Who knows since he really sucks at magic (England: I'm not that bad! Me: Have you tried your cooking yet? England: No…. Me: Then shut up)

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><p>okay, there is the third chapter, please review and i will try to update next Saturday.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4 Prussia

Hi, sorry for the wait. Today's victim is PRUSSIA! MWAHAHAHAHA! Enjoy!

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><p>"Wait, spare me! I'm too awesome to be hit!" WHAM! Prussia was whacked by China's wok.<p>

"Your fault aru! Opium bastard, when is that antidote going to be done aru!"

"When I went to go and check on my supplies, they were all knocked into my cauldron. Which bloody idiot did it! Come out you wanker!"

"England aru! That's another month with France aru!"

"Anything but that frog!" Shall we take a look back?

_Flashback_

There was another World Conference meeting, but this time some unknown nation was there. "Kesesese, the awesome me has arrived!"

"Bruder, vhat are you doing here." That's Germany

"Nothing much West, I just missed the last Vorld Conference meeting!"

"You're not even an official country!"

"Who cares West, as long as I am awesome, I declare myself an official country!" BANG! There goes the frying pan

"Ohh, Gilbird. Oh there are more of you. One Gilbird, two Gilbird, three Gilbird…"

"Vhy are you here!" That's Hungary

"Oohh, the unawesome Hungary is here with her frying pan. Can't handle my awesomeness huh." BANG! Again with the frying pan

"Shut up!"

"Pretty Gilbirdies, come back to the awesome me…"

"Vhere's China?" That's Hungary

"I don't know, maybe…" This was Germany before the door slammed open

"South Korea, get back here aru!"

"I'm sorry Aneki!" BOOM! The wall in front of South Korea crumbled from the impact of China's knife.

"I am not a girl aru!" Well, as you can see, England has not completed the antidote due to his failure in magic (England: Hey!) so China is still a girl.

"Oohh, vhat's your name pretty lady."

"…Who are you aru?" DOM! Prussia fell flat on his face.

"How sad that this hot lady doesn't know the awesome me." Prussia is oblivious to the fact that a murderous dark aura had surrounded China, after he called her a girl (technically lady) twice.

"Well, I am the awesome nation, Prussia! Vant to join me in bed?" GONG! There goes the wok

"I am not a girl aru! I am China, I am a guy aru, a guy!"

"Sexy, hot lady. Meet the awesome me at 10." Prussia said in a slur. GONG! Again the wok.

_End of Flashback_

Prussia was knocked unconscious by multiple beatings of China's wok. There were more tortures that I can't explain because looking at them was so…*shiver* hideous. Not to mention Hungary and Japan recorded the whole thing, I mean the _WHOLE_ thing. Prussia woke up after 4 hours of torture only to find himself locked in a room, not with France, or Russia, not even Belarus, but **HUNGARY**. Hungary was polishing her pan until she saw Prussia awake. "Vell, now that you are avake, I vill let you know that China vas turned into a girl by England and does not like to called a girl either."

"But he makes one hot, sexy lady, way hotter than the unawesome Hungary." BANG!

"Shut up! Oh, and ve're stuck in this room for a month."

"Vhat! NOOOOOOO! Don't lock the awesome me with the unawesome savage Hungary!" BANG!

"Vhy You, Die!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"Have Fun Hungary aru!"

"I'll post this on Youtube. I mean everything including my vhackings!"

"That was a little overdoing it, you git."

"Says the one who can't even complete an antidote aru"

"Dude, you just got owned."

"Shut up, you bloody wanker."

"Oh and one more thing aru." GONG! England goes out like a light. China drags him over to a room that France is in wearing a …. What the hell are those things the he's wearing and where does he keep them? Anyway China throws England into the room with France for the third time and locks the door. "_Ohonononon, _let's have fun England."

"BLOODY HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL! NOT THIS FROG!" "Then get that antidote finished aru!"

Well, so we know that the idiot who fails at magic (England: SHUT UP YOU WANKER! Me: What did you call me! England: A WANKER! POW! I knocked him out with a punch. Me: No one, not even China insults me or they get even worse punishments!) did not finish the antidote. Probably another year before he actually succeeds in making it (England: *KO*)

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><p>There's the fourth chapter. Up next is... Ain't telling suckers! Wait for the next chapter to find out XP! Please review!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5 Austria

Hello! This is Chapter 5! So you better read this chapter because my friends were laughing there guts out reading this. Sorry I made a screw up and corrected this. This is not a new chapter okay!

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><p>"Stop this! I vill sue you for doing this!" GONG!<p>

"You're fault for calling me a girl in the first place aru!"

"China, please stop this! Or I vill get my skillet for this!"

"Oi, someone hold her down."

"Da, whatever China says." Ummm…. Just take a look back. I don't exactly want to explain what happen because I will most likely kill myself laughing.

_Flashback _

"Aiya! England aru, when are you going to finish that antidote aru! If it's not finished soon, I'll lock you up with Russia!"

"Bloody hell! Where do you come up with all these tortures!" Ummm… here, I'm the author. I'm the one who makes up all these wonderful punishments. So thank me for those.

"I've had enough of your shouting! It gives me a headache!"

"Austria! You know better than to do that! China vill make your life miserable!" That's Germany. Boy he isn't kidding.

"I am an aristocrat. So she vill not touch me vithout getting degraded in the social society. And China, act like a proper young lady." THONK! A knife wizzes passed Austria. Now everyone is scared. Excuse me now. I umm… have to go change my pants. (Me: Not really. Just to get the mood on ya know)

"I told you not to call me a girl aru!"

"You can't touch me or I vill sue you and make you live in the slums!"

"I don't care aru!"

"China, don't you dare hurt him or I vill post up the videos of you private life."

"Fine then aru. Prussia aru!"

"Kesesese, the awesome me has arrived! So vhat can I do for you China? Vant to join me in bed?" Hi, I'm back. Just to let you know, Prussia _never _learns from his mistakes.

"You want another month with Hungary aru?"

"Umm… no. So what can the awesome me do for you?"

"Play this in front of Austria aru. Make sure it will make his eyes pop out aru." China gave Prussia a violin. Let's see, Prussia + violin + no musical sense at all = DISASTER!

"Mein Gott! Everyone! Plug your ears!"

"I vill not listen to a commoner like you Germany."

"Velcome to the awesome me show! Today, listen to my wonderful music. This is specifically for Austria. So listen close." SSSSSSCCCCCCRRRRRREEEEEE!

"Oh My Lord! Stop! Stop this noise!"

"Kesesesesesesesese, thank you for being the audience for the awesome me!"

"The noise is gone!"

"But not your punishment aru!"

_End of Flashback_

Then there was more of Prussia's wonderful music. I'm glad I was wearing earplugs. Or else I would be like the senseless idiot who listened to Prussia's music directly. He ended up going to the hospital because his ear drums burst at the noise. Poor fella. Afterwards, Austria was foaming at the mouth because of Prussia's lack of musical sense. And he got knocked out. The next thing Austria knew was that he was in a black room.

"Thank goodness, no more of Prussia's music."

"I wouldn't say that aru. Cause you're gonna be in there for a week aru. Here's the music" Heavy metal music was playing along with Prussia's music.

"Stop! STOP! STOP IT!"

"I said I'll let you out in a week aru."

"Vhy did you do that? You are going to be my punching bag China." That's Hungary.

"Well then, take this Prussia punching bag as a token of apology aru." The punching bag was actually Prussia all tied up!

"This is pay back for sneaking into my room aru."

"Oh, thank you China. Let's have fun you cocky bastard!"

"No, don't hit my awesome face!"

"England aru. Come here aru." GONG! England is unconscious.

"Russia, have fun with England aru!"

"OK da."

"BLOODY HHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!"

England, you fail at magic. But quit making excuses and make the antidote. Or China may do some really bad things to you. You know what I mean. Now excuse me, I must go serve China some food as a favor for not killing me yesterday. I accidently called him a girl. Hope he won't kill me about my food. After all, I am Chinese (Me: That's not a joke ya know!) I just hope he likes it. And England, get your behind into that magic room and finish that antidote or I will get China to lock you in a room with the Bad Touch Trio! That being France, Prussia and Spain. You know what will happen to him.

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><p>There! First the three Asians, then came the English man, the Spanish, the "I AM SO AWESOME!" guy, and the Austrian. I wonder who's next. R&amp;R or I will get China to do one of his tortures with you!<p>

Hey! I don't know who to torture next! So many choices, I ca't decide! So for once, I will let you guys decide who I will torture next with China! I put up a poll in my account, so please choose! The poll will end by this Wednesday or Thursday depending on the amount of votes


	6. Chapter 6 France

Hello, sorry this came late. I had no idea who i was going to do. But thank to the poll, France was the chosen choice. I'm sorry if this sucks!

Disclaimer: This is also for my other chapters. I do not own the wonderful animation series of Hetalia Axis Powers! as much as I want to.

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><p>This is the World Conference Meeting. China has still not changed back<p>

"China! Now you won't have to lock me up in that room again! I made the antidote!" Let's hope it works for once.

"Well then aru. Bring it over here aru."

"_Non_, don't bring it over here. Let's have some fun first before you turn back to normal, o_hnonononon._" That idiot. Prepare the wrath of China. He pretty much called China a she.

"France aru. How many times do you want to get hit aru? Choose between 1000 or 1,000,000."

"H-h-h-h-how about 0, oui?"

"Alright then, 1,000,000 times it is aru. Who do you want to be locked up with aru? Russia or Switzerland aru?"

"N-n-n-n-n-neither."

"Switzerland it is aru. You wouldn't find would you Switzerland aru?"

"As long as Liechtenstein isn't involved, I vould be glad to beat him up with my peace prize."

"Don't hurt him too badly big bruder, it isn't nice."

"Well, aru. I just keep him in there for an hour or two aru. Just to make sure you won't worry Liechtenstein aru."

"Thank you China."

"Psst… Switzerland, just go all out. I'll make sure Liechtenstein won't hear it." That's Hungary

"Humph, you better. Oh, and make sure she doesn't see this." France you better start running, China has pulled out her *cough* his wok and knifes and other dangerous sharp items.

"You shouldn't be seeing this." Hungary covers Liechtenstein's eyes. BANG! CRASH! THONK! GONG! I think you know what's going on. France got knocked unconscious after being hit 200 times. After 900,800 more hits, France was beaten and umm… you get the picture I need to go and umm… do something. France was finally thrown into the room with Switzerland.

"Come on, Liechtenstein. Vant to go shopping? Your bruder is steeck in the mud when it comes to money."

"Ok. Just as long as big bruder doesn't mind."

"France get up! You are such a weakling! I'll beat you with my peace prize!"

"_Non_! Spare my beautiful face!"

"Give me the antidote aru. If it fails, you're going to be in that room with them for 2 months aru. Just France, Switzerland will have to come out after two hours aru."

"What are you glaring at me for you git. It's obviously going to" POOOOOF!

"wwwooorrrkkkkkk."

"What are you staring at me for ahen! Hey! Why is my voice so high ahen! England!" KICK! PUNCH! THROW! BOOF! China threw England into the room with Switzerland and France.

"Now I need to go get my old clothes ahen!" The antidote turned China back into a guy yes, but it shrunk him into a kid!

"SSSSOOOOOO CCCCCUUUUTTTTEEEE!" That was everyone in the room. Little chibi China. KKKYYYYAAAA! SO ADORABLE!

"England! Make that 3 months ahen!"

"Even though you're a little kid, you wanker, you are so cruel! BLOODY HELL! DROP THAT GUN YOU GIT!"

"Shut up and take this!" England is going through hell once again. Chibi China, I wish you luck. Cause everyone is gonna go squealy after you because you are so adorable. Must resist hugging. I can't take it anymore! *GLOMP* everyone went to go and hug China. Oh, he's turning blue. Oh well, he's just too darn cute!

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><p>There. China is not a girl anymore. He's a cute adorable little kid. *Fangirl squeal* China's so darn cute! Anyways, R&amp;R!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7 America

Hi! Sorry I'm late, I have an essay due soon, so i wasn't able to update soon. Any ways, I don't own Hetalia! Axis Powers! If i did, i would make China more awesome than Prussia!

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><p>"Haha! I can't believe that China is now a kid!"<p>

"Well, now I got even more bloody problems you wanker!"

"Did you just call me a kid ahen." Here comes China's martial arts. Oh yea, to recap, England screwed up his magic again and instead turned China into a kid instead of turning back to normal.

"Yo! I'm gonna call you Chibi China from now on." WHAM! America just barely dodged the incoming kick from China. The wall behind him just went bye-bye.

"America ahen. Time to die ahen."

"Spare me! Spare me!"

"Too late ahen!" KICK! PUNCH! A lot of beating up from Chib… I meant China who is an expert in martial arts.

"How long is this gonna be."

"I say 4 hours, _non._ Now England, if it really does go on for 4 hours, you will go drinking and streak in the park."

"BLOODY HELL! NO WAY!"

"If I lose, I won't do any perverted things to you for a week."

"YOU'RE ON!"

"Qu..it.. ta..lk..ing..an..d..he..lp..me..du..de."

4 hours later (XP)

"HA! I win! Go streaking now England!" England just had 2 barrels of beer, 1 barrel of vodka, and a whole lot of wine.

"No problem. HEY! LOOK EVERYBODY! I'M IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!" Call the paramedics! Hungary and Taiwan just died of a nosebleed. Japan fainted and so did a bunch of others. Switzerland is ready to kill England for almost mentally scarring Liechtenstein. The Bad Touch Trio are having very disturbing thoughts. *shiver* So disturbing. Hey, what's that smell? Oh, all of America's hamburgers are being burned. "

Why Dude! Why my hamburgers!"

"No hamburgers for a month ahen. I replaced all the junk food with fruits and vegetables ahen. You are going healthy for a month ahen." China, when you said 'No hamburgers for a month.' America fainted and is currently foaming at the mouth.

"Cuba ahen! I got you an America punching bag!"

"Sweet, time to die America!"

"I need it back in a month ahen! Where's England ahen?"

"Being arrested for streaking. France's dare." That's Hong Kong.

"France! When England comes back, You, Prussia and Spain can have him for a month ahen!"

"_Ohnononononononon,_ thank you China."

"Kesesesese, so we have a little toy now."

"ROMANO! NO MORE HEADBUT"

"CHIGI!" WHAM! Spain is currently unavailable. Please wait until the next time to talk to Spain.

"China (da-ze)." That's all the Asians including Taiwan who just recovered from her nosebleed.

"What ahen?"

"S-s-s-so CUTE!" GLOMP! China is currently unavailable due to the excessive glomping of the Asians. Please wait next time to glomp him. NO ONE TOUCHES MY CHIBI CHINA! I AM CHINESE, SO I AM GLOMPING HIM AS WELL! Please wait next time to glomp him. Oh, he's turning blue again. Maybe i should let him go. NOT!

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><p>There! Poor America, going healthy for a month is just like eating England's food for us. Anyways R&amp;R! If you don't, I will get China to do one of his tortures on you!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8 Russia

Here's Russia! Suprising isn't it, everyone fears Russia.

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><p>"Russia, what the hell are you doing in my room, ahen!"<p>

"You look so cute when you're angry China, especially since you're a chibi, da."

"Argh, England, I'm going to kill you, ahen!"

ACHOO! "Oh bloody hell, China is going to kill me."

"Dude, it was your fault he got turned into a girl and then turning him into a chibi."

"Don't remind me you git, his punishments are torture."

"Dude, I don't blame you. Being locked in a room with France, lots of people would have killed themselves."

"Russia is going to have a bloody hell of a good time with that wanker."

"Dude, France would rather shoot himself than stay with Russia."

"Then who the bloody hell is she going to lock him with?"

"No clue, who likes to scare the hell out of Russia?"

_In China's house_

"Russia, you want to know why no one ever comes into my room ahen?"

"Why da" WHAM, the wall behind Russia cracks and crumbles.

"They taste my wok ahen! Die ahen!" Russia was knocked unconscious. Japan, South Korea and Hong Kong were watching China murder Russia.

"Wow, like that has got to hurt."

"No kidding, da-ze! Aniki nearly killed us with those techniques, da-ze!"

"D-d-d-d-don't you mean otōto (little brother in Japanese), South Korea?"

"Japan, don't say that or else…" CRASH BAM CRUMBLE. The wall behind the three Asians fell when a knife was thrown at their direction.

"Aniki will kill us, da-ze." All three of them were trembling.

"Japan, I am not a little kid ahen! I will kill you ahen!"

"I am sorry, don't kill me!"

"We'll see about that, aru." China called someone on the phone. "Hello Hungary, ahen? I just knocked Russia unconscious ahen. What do you mean how can I use the phone and beat up Russia ahen? I didn't learn martial arts for 1000 years for nothing ahen. Anyways, you can set up a video camera in the room I am going to put him in with _that _crazy women ahen. Yes, I mean _her, _ahen. Okay see you 5 hours ahen." Oh dear, I pray for your good health Russia. Because those 5 hours mean you get 5 more hours of China's wonderful punishment course that happens to be 100 times worse than England's and Spain's combined. Even though you do have a habit to carry around a lead pipe and ummm… I think I'll keep my mouth shut before I say anymore. I don't want Russia to kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol after me.

Russia woke up in a room only to hear something dreadful.

"Marry me big brother. China was nice enough to let us be in this room for a month. Become one with me big brother."

"Go away!"

"Married, married."

"Have fun Russia, Belarus ahen!"

"Nooooooooo!"

"Let me become one with you big brother."

"Don't you think that was a little harsh China?" England asked.

"Do you want to be in that room with France for a month aru? If not, then get that antidote ready, or I will make sure to make your life a living hell aru!"

"With what you wanker?"

"Hungary, do you have that video of England ahen?"

"Just look it up on YouTube."

"Wait, what video?"

"The one where you had 'fun' with France ahen. Wow, 10 million hits already ahen."

"Dude, you should definitely finish that antidote, or China will make sure that you go through even more torture."

"Oh bloody hell."

"Mei-mei! Put me down ahen!"

"No way! You are too cute!" Now we know that China will even put Russia through his punishment course. Russia, I wish you luck. China, good luck with Taiwan. She really loves cute things like you do. If you saw yourself in the mirror, you would be hugging it.

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><p>There! Poor Russia, nothing scares him more than Belarus. Anyways, R&amp;R or China will kill you<p> 


	9. Chapter 9 Poland

Hi! Sorry, i had a swim meet! Anyways, it's like Poland. A really short chapter okay!~

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><p>"AIYAA! STOP SQUISHING ME!"<p>

"KYAA! SO CUTE!" Now ladies and fangirls, please wait your turn to glomp Chibi China. I SAID BE PATIENT PEOPLE! GROW A FREAKING BRAIN ALREADY! Wait, you aren't a girl.

"Like, OMG, you are gonna be a perfect dress up doll." Oh for the love of god (sorry if this insults any of you religious people) Poland, STOP WEARING GIRL'S CLOTHING!

"Like, let's try on this totally awesome dress." FYI, it's a really I mean _really_ _frilly pink DRESS. _

"YOU GET THAT S**T AWAY FROM ME AHEN!" Strike one, and China, no potty mouths or I'm gonna burn all your Shinatty plushies.

"Oh, then wear this." An even more frilly and pink dress with a matching sunhat.

"NO WAY AHEN!" Strike two.

"Okay, so just wear my whole collection of like frilly and pink clothing. It, like, totally suits you." Strike three, Poland, you're dead.

"POLAND AHEN! I'm not a girly dress up doll aru! Face my martial arts!"

"Like, there's nothing wr-" BAM! CRASH! Poland just got kicked through ten reinforced steel walls, so ummm…. Bye!

_4 hours later _

"Geez, for a little kid, you completely destroyed the whole room, little brat!" That's England.

"Oh, ahen. Do you want to be locked in a room with nothing but rabid dingos, ahen?"

"Little git." "Help me burn this stuff ahen."

"No! Don't burn all my, like, frilly clothing!" Poland is unavalible, please wait until the next open line.

"Hungary ahen! Can you put him in that room ahen?"

"Vhy not, he is such a little brat." Hungary threw Poland into a room with Russia and mass murder weapons.

"Da good. I can't wait to see all of his guts fly all over the place. He sure does piss me off." O.O Russia, ever heard of a psychiatrist? Then again, your whole family needs one.

"England ahen."

"What you little brat." BAM! Into the room of wild dingos.

"Hurry up with that antidote, or I'll castrate you!" For those people who don't know what castrate means, don't look it up.

"BLOODY HELL!" Step right up ladies and fangirls, GET IN A F***ING STRAIGHT LINE! Get to squish or glomp Chibi China, only $1.00!

"AIYAA! NOT AGAIN! I'M GONNA KILL YOU AHEN!" You do and you will get turned into a Chibi girl China instead. Silence. DON'T HOLD UP THE LINE AND WAIT YOUR TURN YOU ANNOYING FANGIRLS!

_1 week later_

Finally… they…are…all…gone. Nappy time.

"OI AHEN! WHAT ABOUT ME AHEN!" Do it yourself. You're not a little kid.

"Body of a child, mind of an adult ahen." "

KYAAA! CHIBI CHINA!"

"SHOOT AHEN!" Start running.

"I hate you ahen!" Love you too China.

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><p>I told you it would be short! Anyways R&amp;R!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10 Greece and Turkey

Sorry i came late! I had a swim meet until 4:00! Such a pain in the ass! I don't own Hetalia and this is a really short chapter!

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><p>"Argh! You are such a pain!"<p>

"Then stop hurting my cats you *Beep*!"

"No one is allowed to call me a *Beep*!"

"Shut up!"

"No you shut up!" A typical day for Greece and Turkey, fighting at the World Conference meeting because Turkey stepped on one of Greece's cats. China on the other hand was, I repeat, _**was**_ taking a nap while the Asians were snapping pictures at his adorable sleeping face. Excuse me for the moment. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU FANGIRLS TO GET OUT! SO OUT! I MEAN OUT! Sorry, rapid China fangirls. Let's continue. SWISH! THWACK! A knife just wizzed by the two arguing countries. Now everyone is scared. All Asians are extremely cranky when rudely interrupted while sleeping, especially China.

"Shut… the…hell…up…aru. It's…so…hard…to…sleep…aru."

"Shut the hell up you little brat!" That's Turkey

"You bastard (Romano: Hey don't steal my word you damn bastard)you're gonna get us killed!" "Time…to…die…aru!" WHAM! BASH! NYA! Wait, that's a cat. Well you get the whole point, Greece and Turkey just got owned.

"Let's see, there's 60 minutes in an hour aru. So 60 times 24 is 1,440 aru. Who has 1,440 alarm clocks I can borrow."

"You can borrow mine little dude!" America, how does that even fit in your house?

"Thanks aru. Germany, I need to borrow your flame thrower aru."

"Be very careful vith it."

"Anyways, you two still have 4 more hours of my punishment before you go into the room." WHAM! Night-night you two.

_4 hours later_

_Tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic._ "Argh! Someone stop this noise! I can't sleep!" BRING!

"You're only in there for a day aru."

"Onii-san, you set each alarm clock to ring every single minute so he can't sleep."

"Now he knows why no one disturbs my sleep aru."

"ARGH! Why did you melt all of my precious mementos! My victory as the Otoman Empire, Ruined!" Turkey is unavailable, he is foaming at the mouth.

"England! Back into the rabid fangirl room!"

"How about we do the bloody rabid dingos again."

"Kya! England!"

"BLOODY HELL! GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES! AAAAHHHH!"Well, let's let China….Run! Rapid Fangirl Attack!

"AIYA! Not again aru! I hate being a Chibi aru!" Would you rather be a girl?

"At least there are no fangirls aru!" Fanboys. "I HATE YOU!"

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><p>There, my shortest chapter ever! R&amp;R<p> 


	11. Chapter 11 The Baltics

Hi! (Gets beaten with mallets) I'm Sorry! I didn't mean to come a day late! I hate too much stuff to do! Anyways, it's the Baltics!

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><p>"I-I-I-I d-d-d-didn't m-m-mean t-t-o d-d-do that! Y-y-you're j-just too short!"<p>

"Are you calling me a kid ahen! Die!" "Latvia!" How about I recap.

_Flashback_

It's another World Conference meeting. Chibi China is sleeping while everyone takes a picture of his adorable sleeping face.

"Latvia! I want some tea!"

"Y-y-yes M-m-mister R-r-russia." Latvia being a little bit too careless, trips and accidently dumps the tea on China

"AIYA! HOT ARU!" Then that's when Latvia spilled the wrong things out of his mouth.

_End of Flashback_

"Latvia! I swear you always get us killed!" That's Estonia

"I agree with Estonia!" That's Lithuania

"Shut up and Die ahen!" 5 hours of none stop wok hitting and martial arts.

"Ah, this is so much fun to watch right da?" "

You little bloody brat! Why am I still in the rapid dingo and fangirl room!"

"To make that antidote ahen!"

"I'm gonna murder you!"

"Not before I murder you first ahen!"

"Well, looks like they're having a lot of fun." That's France.

"Sure is dude. But I really hate being one of China's tortures again."

"No kidding _mon ami_."

_5 hours later_

"Why out of all people am I stuck with you and Mr. Russia!" That's Lithuania

"I-I-I-I-I-I d-d-don't k-k-know!" That's Lativa.

"Well da. I think I must go and give you the punishment I had in store for you no da."

"NNNOOOO!"

_In another room_

"You guys got it easy! I'm in the room with this insane woman!" That's Estonia. He got stuck with Belarus.

"China said if I beat you for one whole day. I get to be with my big brother for two days! So die!"

"ARGH!"

"Let me out of here!" That's all the Baltics.

"Wait a day ahen."

"What about me you bloody bugger!"

"Another week then the bear pit with rabid fangirls ahen."

"BLOODY HELL!" I really hate to be one of the people that pisses off China so much that he really wants to kill me.

"You are ahen!" Well, you can't kill me because I'm the narrator and the author so too bad for you. But I'll give you this giant panda doll if you promise not to kill me.

"PANDA AHEN! OKAY!" Here is your giant panda. That's how you keep China from going rampaging on you. Too bad the other countries don't have any.

"No Fair!" That's all bye.

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><p>How was it? Good? Bad? Review please! Also, i might be a little late next week because I'll be out at DC. Just warning you okay? X3<p> 


	12. Chapter 12 The last chapter

Hi! Hey! Put down the chainsaw! I told you I was going to be late! Anyways, here is the last chapter because i can't hink of anymore people to torture. So I'm going all out on this one okay!

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><p>"Finally, it's finished! The antidote that will let me be in peace forever! No more rabid fangirls! No more bloody tortures from China! I'm free!"<p>

"Hey dude! Quick run! China's super pissed off! He just knocked out Belarus and Russia and locked them in a room full of Incest haters!"

"Mein Gott! Vhy are you just standing here! Run!" Ehm… should I recap

_5 minutes ago_

"Thanks Japan da-ze! This is the best one yet da-ze!" Hong Kong, Japan and South Korea are setting up a prank for whoever comes in.

"Wait. Like isn't the only one not here other than Liechtenstein (She's too adorable to get hurt), Ukraine (Can't see it), and Vietnam is sick."

"W-w-wait, aren't you forgetting someone? I think his name was Canada."

"Oh yeah, da-ze. Wait da-ze. That means the only one not here is….Aniki! Shoot he's here now da-ze. We're all dead da-ze."

"Good morni- AIYA!" China is caught in a classic rope trap, thrown into a bucket of tar and feathers, pulled into a barber shop, and finally hung upside down where from here it looks like a chicken that got its feathers pulled out. Not to mention that China's hair got cut. Oh dear, I got to go. The tar on China is melting right now. I wish you countries luck right now.

"CRAP! OPEN THE DOOR YOU BASTARD!" That's Romano.

"You guys are dead aru!"

_End of flashback_

"Man you bloody idiots! Great! There goes the Bad Touch trio into the mass murderer's room! Hungary, Prussia and Austria went into the extremely loud heavy metal room!" Look Romano and Italy are pulled into the Italy fangirl room! This is a lot of fun to watch you know. There goes Germany and the Asians into England's food room.

"Hey you wanker! My food isn't that bad!" Why are you saying that when you are being kicked into China's favorite torture room.

"Shoot dude! We just got locked in the rabid animal room!" Ah, I love making this stuff up!

"It's your bloody fault that we go through torture every week!" Oh, I have to go! I'll be back in week!

"YOU BLOODY WANKER! THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!"

_One week later_

China! Time to let them out! I think England finished the antidote for you.

"Why didn't you say so earlier aru!" Everyone looks so frazzled and stone dead.

"I HATE YOU! YOU STUPID AUTHOR!" That's all the countries

"Shut up and give me that antidote aru!" POOF! Normal China with short hair!

"Man aru. This will take a long time to grow back aru."

"Yay! No more tortures!" And that's the end of this screwed up series of China's anger management problems and how he takes it out on other people. Bye!

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><p>The End! Okay! Please review now!<p> 


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